There’s such a surreal moment when it comes to graduation; the moment when you are watching your child cross the stage and receive their diploma. You suddenly realize that they are stepping into their next big adventure. After years of packed lunches, late-night homework help, and being their safe place, you’re suddenly preparing to step back. It’s exciting and a little bit heartbreaking all at once. As a parent, it’s natural to want to ease the way, but helping them transition into this next chapter isn’t about fixing everything, it’s about guiding them just enough, then letting them find their very own footing.
One of the most helpful things you can do before they leave is teach the little life skills that often get overlooked. Yes, they might know how to cook ramen, but can they reset a router? Fill out a W-4? Schedule a flu shot on their own? These are the kinds of things that can trip them up if they’re unprepared. Make it casual and don’t overthink, but run through a list together over a meal or create a “things to know before you go” checklist. You’ll build their confidence and cut down on panicked calls in the middle of their first semester (yes, they will still call you!).
On the emotional side, let them feel what they feel. Moving away comes with excitement, but also doubt, homesickness, and moments of regret. That’s normal. Rather than brushing those feelings aside, validate them. Tell them it’s okay to feel weird or scared and that they’re not alone in it. If you’ve got your own college stories, share them: the good and the awkward. It helps them see that tough transitions still lead to something awesome.
Before they leave, help them think about what will bring comfort when the homesickness hits. A dorm stocked with coordinated storage bins is nice, but it’s the personal touches that bring peace. Maybe it’s a blanket from the couch at home, or the sweatshirt they always stole from your drawer. Slip in a note or a photo. Anything familiar can anchor them when everything else feels new and strange, and when the adrenaline fades.
There’s also real value in helping them create a soft landing at school, even before they get there. Encourage them to reach out to potential roommates or look into campus clubs. Some schools have group chats or forums for incoming students, join early. If they’re shy, help them practice a few openers or ways to start a conversation. Having even just one familiar face can make a huge difference. It can be easy to focus all your energy on them and forget this is a shift for you, too. Talk about it. Be honest when it feels hard, even if you’re tempted to stuff your feelings down. They might roll their eyes, but it shows them that vulnerability is okay. You’re still their home base, but now you’re also their reminder that they can do hard things. Show them you believe they can do hard things.
Keep showing up in small ways. A surprise care package, a quick check-in text with zero expectations, or even a funny meme you know they’ll laugh at. These little gestures will remind them you’re there, even when you’re not physically close. This season looks different, but it’s still a relationship built on showing up when it matters most.
